Affirm Grasp

Rollercoasters.  Not a fan. I guess when I was in my tweens I would’ve characterized these rides as exciting, thrilling, stimulating. Something changed. No more interest in them until I became a Mom. Secretly, I secretly wished my daughters wouldn’t enjoy them but at the same time glad their Dad would offer to take them on the scandalous rides. I would watch, praying for physical safety and that the experience wouldn’t emotionally scar them for life. Thankfully it didn’t. Today. I have no use for amusement rides. Yet I think the real reason I’m not interested anymore is because my life feels like a roller coaster ride. Uncertainties, twists and turns and new situations to adjust to. Sometimes I think I personally hold the world’s record for the amount of roller coaster rides I’ve been on. The data is clear.   Moved 23 times, saw husbands through 14 job changes, held 29 different jobs over the years.   Been through divorce, survived physical and sexual a...

The trees are blossoming, the tulips tuliping (my new word) and the daffodils smiling. This time if year reminds you that something is coming…that warmer days are ahead.   It also reminds me that it’s yet another season.  Lately I've reflected on these chapters in our lives, these seasons. God is the same yesterday, today and forever, yet in our walk with the Lord, things change.  Circumstances, jobs, families, us. The seasons. I'm experiencing a new season in my life. My daughters are “flying the nest” as they finish their education, pursue careers and develop intimate relationships. My husband and I, who lived apart for the first 3.5 years of our marriage, are now living together, yet we have such strange schedules that we actually saw each other more when we lived apart. In the past 4 months, we’ve faced unexpected financial challenges and both of us have been laid off work. We remember my mom who recently passed and are rem...

I love yellow Labrador puppies. Sweet, innocent faces, puppy breath and endearing countenance.  Yet they do some really gullible puppy like things. Like chewing on anything - even smelly shoes. They'll eat almost anything and have little self control. But one of the cutest things they do is chase their tail.  Has anyone ever figured that one out yet ? When a puppy chases its tail, he’s on a mission. He goes round and round and doesn’t stop to ask why or concern himself with where he's going.  It’s as if he wants to achieve something, do something. The ironic thing is that he doesn't. He just goes around and around. Not much different than us. As humans, we chase our tails, probably more often than we realize. Stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, we can't seem to make sense of anything. We lack emotional energy and keep asking the "why" questions.  Why did this happen? Why didn't I do this instead of that?  Why did they get away with that?  ...

6 months ago, I went to the doctor for my annual physical and learned my blood pressure was up – just a little bit. For some, this isn’t something to be overly alarmed about.   After all, high blood pressure can be temporary due to an overly busy schedule or stress, which was true in my case. But for some reason, this was a wake up call. So over the last 6 months, I’ve been waking up early nearly every morning to exercise. Each day, just a little bit of exercise, a little bit more, and just a little bit of food. With God’s help, I’ve lost 4 inches around my waist, 40 pounds and my blood pressure is great. It all started with just a little bit. It amazes me how big things can happen when we pay more attention to the little bits. In my case, each one of those little bits added up to a big difference.   I feel better, I look better, and I have to shop for new clothes.   How rewarding to invest in something and have a positive return!  But unfortunately, th...

PALM TREE BLUES I love snow. Yet around this time of year, I am simply tired of winter. I long for sunshine, blue skies and warm temperatures and can't wait to see daffodils poke through the ground as blades of green grass emerge. I dream of being by the water and even though I don't live anywhere near any palm trees, just looking at pictures of them invite me to take a deep breath and relax.  Makes me want to sing the “Palm Tree Blues”. Life can move fast and life can move slow, but my life seems to be in a state of constant transition. Between losing my dad to death when I was 10, moving 3,000 miles away from home for college, then grad school, career, marriage, children, new career, divorce, new job, moving, second marriage, step-children, moving, empty nest, job change, moving, new churches, mom dying, new friends, moving, and moving. (Did I mention moving?) It makes me tired to even think of transitions! (Or packing) With all this transition experience, I’...

“Ugh...Stop...Stop the noise...that sounds terrible” my brothers said the first day I brought my clarinet home.  There were lots of whining and complaints. No applause for me that day. The first time I heard the low register of the clarinet, I knew it was the instrument for me. It wasn’t shiny or sparkling, but playing it for the first time became a special memory. Learning to play came easily to me. I just couldn't put it down.  Unfortunately, my brothers didn’t share in my enthusiasm. I admit. I probably didn’t sound great. For those who have ever heard a beginning clarinetist, you would certainly share their sentiment. However, after years of practicing and ultimately achieving professional status, I obviously improved. Turns out one of the best aspects of my playing is the very special "tone" I achieve on my instrument. As I progressed, I learned to become aware of every note and make each have a sound pleasant to the ears. What about you? Ar...